xxxposed

You know that Old proverb that "If you set something free and it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't come back to you, it was never yours."

I'm just wondering if he'll come back to me after I've let him go. Currently things are done and over with. A one point he'll say he doesn't want us to ever be over but then he'll say.. we'll just tell me it's over so i know. My dilema is.. I want to be together forever but I also don't want to be lied to about things that are important to me. I cannot continue to be lied to by the only person i ever loved this much.

In other relationships of mine that have ended, I knew my breaking point and I knew clearly i wanted it to be over. For some reason this one is clear... as mud. I can't see thru the shit to save my own life. I mean is this what people in abusive relationships are like... they just don't want to give up so they keep going back to be smacked around? [obviously i'm not being abused]

I guess I just feel betrayed and hurt by someone telling me they love me but consistantly hurting me and pretending what he does won't effect me.

How do you get someone else to see how much it hurts?

Things are on the rocks, so to speak. I don't know where this is going but I sure as hell know where it's been. I can't seem to get over the past mistakes he's made, lord knows i have plenty of my own. I guess I'm still hurt by everything and there hasn't been enough healing to forget it all just yet. I find myself hearing songs on the radio and being enraged to the point where I just want to scream or puke because it reminds me of one of them.

My biggest question that is still unanswered is Why? Why did you make me wait?